Love needs care and concern.

Some people believe love is happening for no reason in between two people. It’s just happen and no exact reason or definition for that. So is that the way you think?

Yes…above conclusion may very true for very beginning of a love affair. It’s because at the very first site, we feel love just for first impression. That’s the romance. It happens automatically. But this reality may valid just for few days. Coz’ day by day we get to know each other in deeply. And this understanding will be the key for perfect long term love affair. In that case to keep this wonderful love in live, we need real concerns for sure. In shortly, when time is passing we need good reasons for this love to keep alive. Otherwise it never goes “automatically”.

Time may erode the feelings of care, love and concern in even the best of relationships. Sometime People stop doing the easy nice little things they used to do for each other because they're too tired, or start waiting for the other person to do something nice first. Eventually, both people feel taken for granted and horribly lonely.

Many people think that love should not require any effort. But the truth is, love requires regular refinement of basic relationship skills. Skills such as listening with understanding, expressing feelings with kindness, and resolving conflict without lapsing into criticism. Couples use these relationship enhancement skills generously in the early stages of their relationship. Over time, however, people stop using their skills and rely more and more with increasing resentment on the hope of getting what they want. They stop doing what they gladly did at the beginning.

Some people thinks, “If I have to work so hard in love, something must be wrong with the relationship” or “Isn't love supposed to be spontaneous?” never think in that way. It surely needs care and concern. Otherwise one day or another, your place in the relationship, may be taken by another person forever.

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Love and Hate

Do you hate the person, once you loved, after breakup with them? Or did you love someone but now you hate? Well…some of the romantic stories are ended up with hating to each others, so badly.  Not only that but also, it may occur some violence upon it. It’s very unfortunate.  But of course, it depends on the situation. Anyhow, and at any circumstance, is it really possible to hate the person once you loved so much?

Most of the time, when we love someone for real, we may say “I’ll do anything for you”. But the same time we also hope the return love from them. So in this case actually we do not love them. Instead of we love ourselves. We know that, when we love so much for someone, that one also love us in return in that much. If that person, is not doing love so much for us, or cheating on us, that’s the turning point for begin the hating.  It’s natural for most of the people. So the point, here is, we love only ourselves. Not for them. That’s why, after they breakup with us, we do hate them. But if we really loved them, even if they left us we don’t hate them and we wish them instead.

If you can still stay really calm, when your lover left you or, cheated on you, still it’s a real love. But of course, if they do cheat on you, don’t need to love them more and more. Simply let them go away from your life and Think it’s as a blessing for you. So you don’t need to hate them.  Just don’t keep the hard feelings for cheaters.
 

Though above is the physical aspect of love and hate, how this occurs in our brain? 

The Public Library of Science led by Professor Zeki of the University College London revealed that neurologically, "love" and "hate" are similar... Is that amazing?

Although emotional opposites, it appears that some of the nervous structures in the brain responsible for hate are the same as those used during feelings of romantic love. Like love, hate is often seemingly irrational and can lead to similar acts of extreme behavior - both heroic and evil.

One would think that both love and hate would be entirety driven by the limbic system, as this is the seat of our emotion and intuition. But Professor Zeki's work demonstrates that a part of the brain called the putamen is also involved. The putamen sits at the centre of the brain and appears to provide connections between the lower parts of the brain, such as the basal stem, and the upper parts of the brain in the cerebral cortex. The putamen is already known to be involved in the perception of contempt and disgust and may also be part of the motor system involved in movement and action.

However, although the circuitry is similar, the way in which it is used for both love and hate is different. One major difference appears to be in the fact that large parts of the cerebral cortex - associated with judgment and reasoning - become de-activated during love, whereas only a small area is deactivated in hate.

This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgmental about their partner whereas it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgment in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge. Therefore the rational, cerebral functions stay activated in order to make these decisions.

The study also speculated that while the "love circuit" seems to be programmed for loving just one person, the "hate circuit" appears to be capable of targeting groups of people based on their race, religion or even the football club they support.

The fact that the cerebral brain appears to be less involved in love may give some substance to the saying "love is blind". On the other hand, this research suggests that the "hate circuit" is far more calculating and much more complex.

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When you love someone, Could you love, like you gonna die tomorrow?

It’s sound crazy? I guess very few people love like that way. But in that way, love will always be in alive, and fresh. Never get old. Most of the people just do love.  In simply, they love because others also doing love or they want a partner for share things. They want to marry someone, It's because that is the requirement of the society.  They do those things, but they don’t mean it. That’s the common way.

So…how about you guys? Let’s ask a simple question from your heart. “What is the last moment that you told to your lover that “I love you” with a deep feeling. (I know that most of the people say “I love you” after every telephone conversation”). But I mean, with a deep affection. Sometime people do marvelous things, till they make a relationship with someone. But after, they made the relationship; it became a normal day today thing and, just goes.

If you really love someone, it’s better to show them, show your feelings inside of you. Be opened. Let it know them how deep is your love about them. Let it know them how happy you are because of them. Always remind them, how they really mean to you. Most of the time, it’ll help to increase the bond of the relationship and of course the love too. It’ll make your relationship in good shape. And it’ll make more happiness in both of you. You’ll never miss the chances that way. You’ll never be regretting that way. In simply, love like, you gonna die tomorrow. Then you’ll never miss a thing.

 

And also love is like a plant, plant needs more care, sufficient water, sufficient shelter, and sufficient sun shine. Otherwise it’ll die. But when it became a large tree, it will give you the shelter, or the fruit for your hunger. Love is same as a little plant. It needs more care, as a growing little plant. But when it became big enough to care about you, it will care about you for rest of your life.

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Do you want to fall in love with your boy-friend?

Do you like a boy? But he doesn’t care about you? Or do you love a boy? But he doesn’t love you? OK…this could happen often. So what do you do for win him? Here are some few tips to gain it.

Remember that, every boy is thinking girls as playful objects. That’s the truth. If you became a girl friend or a wife for some guy, then he may thinks about you more than playful object. It’s not wrong. And being attractive is jewel for a girl. Simply it’s an asset to a girl. And admire it.  So you must improve it doing something like, dressing well, keeping your body in good shape, avoiding chipped and chewed nails, clean and healthy hair and avoiding unhealthy appearance mainly try to keep your skin in good form. So your dream boy will think about you than before.

Try to choose proper cloths for yourself. You and your cloth must be like voice and the music in a song. It means, cloth should prominent your look. Dress like a girl. Real boys like girls; they don’t like the girls alike boys. A little bit of makeup is absolutely fine. But don’t go overboard assuming you’ll impress the guy with the fancy artwork on your face.

Don’t be a pushy girl; it’ll always be a joke. Mind your language; avoid starting or ending your sentences with cuss words. Use good words, and when you speak with him, have a little honest smile on your face. That is the best way to get a guy to notice you. If you want extra credit, make eye contact. The biggest trait that attracts guys is a girl’s femininity and sensuality. The way you walk, the way you stare at him while doing that thing with your eyes, and everything else that’s girly and feminine matters a lot to a guy.

Let him know that you are available for his happiness and sadness. Get to know about his personal life and his family matters well. So you could close to him. let your hands touch his hands occasionally, it may a good gesture, for let him know that you like him. 

The other most important thing is if you really love him; tell him how you really feel in yourself. Tell him you’re really happy with him. But are afraid of the future because you have no idea what could happen after this. If he has any sense, he’ll know it’s time for him to make some assurances to you. Don’t hide your emotions or play with words. And if he really does love you, he won’t be upset to hear that. Instead, he’ll say something that makes you feel better.

So finally this guy may truly falling love with you, but he may not be interested in marriage. Can you deal with that? If you can’t handle that, and are really serious about getting married soon, it’s probably time to ask yourself if you’re with the right guy for you.

And the same time remember that, every boy is looking for a girl who is dreaming in his mind. That dream girl’s main profile or fact may be about the body complexion, or hair color, slim, fat, it may vary. It means, each other’s desires are different. So if he is not looking for a girl like you, there is nothing you could do here. Don’t try to change yourself for him. It never gonna achieve. You just move and find someone who likes who you are now.

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Do you feel true love?

True love takes time to take well form. Other thing is love at first sight always not really true love on every occasion. In fact, love at first sight is nothing but an infatuation, sometimes. It’s just a strong romantic and physical feeling.

Sometime true love is hard to define exactly, but there are some signs of true love in a relationship.

If you’re in kind a relationship with someone and want to know if you’re experiencing true love, check whether are there any of these signs in your relationship.

You give every good thing to the relationship in wholeheartedly, without any expectations of getting something back in return from your loved one. Just watching this special person smile out loud fills you with full of happiness, though you’re suffering or having a hard day. You may terribly hurt when your lover did wrong thing to you, but their actions never anger you. You do sacrifices for their happiness, even if they may never know it. As always try to do things and make an effort to improve the relationship, and play a conscious part in trying to please your partner and make them feel loved and special. You can’t ever hurt them. When you’re in love with someone, you can’t even imagine hurting them. Payback is a strong human instinct. So get rid of it.  You keep your promises. When you make a promise to them, no matter what, keep your promise. Even if this person will never find out if you broke their promise. When you experience true love, your moral conscience becomes very strong when. In a good relationship, it’s good to have your own space to grow as individuals. But at the same time, you’d see them as a part of your life. When you think of your future, you can’t help, but see them by your side. you must share their burden. And you do that even if you don’t really need to do so. You if they’re involving with some issue, you’re always willing to give helping hand even when you have your own difficulties to look into. You must pride of them, when they achieve something. Even you failed to achieve same thing.  

If you’re in a relationship and if you are not experiencing above true love signs, you have to more care about your relationship. Perhaps, your relationship hasn’t reached the state of emotional maturity that surpasses physical attraction or the stage of infatuation.

However, if both of you feel you are doing great in your love affair, just go with it. Don’t try to change anything about it. It’s because, selfless and unconditional love takes time to get well form. Remember, you can’t go into the next stage in love if not both of you are ready for it.

But keep remember that, although above things are there, as long as your lover and you are happy and understand each other, you people have such great love!

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Power of Love

We need love for our mind and body as oxygen and water. It's obvious. The more connected we are, the healthier we will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected we are, the more we are at risk. And we need love since our birth, but this love profile is changing age to age. So if we lose this love line at a point, our life will not stream smoothly. And it’s also true that the less love we have get more depression we are likely to experience in our life. So perhaps love is the best antidepressant in the world.

If we have a close look, most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not be loved by others. And they also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love. And the people, who are in love, live happily than the others. It’s because, when we have someone to share our sadness and happiness, we don’t need to suffer lonely, in that way we could minimize our sadness and maximize our happiness.  

In a way love is a gift.  It can provide the power for, motivate you to do good things and can improve your self-esteem and self-confidence. Because you know deep in your heart that there is someone in this world that truly loves you for who you are! That love will lift your life style. That love always reminds you, about the meaning of your life.

So do love and be loved as always you could and Feel the power of love.

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Unconditional Love

Most of the time, when we love someone, love starts with some expectations in our mind. It means we expect love in return. This is normal and common for everyone. But I believe, True love is always unconditional.

What unconditional love means? A feeling is something we get from someone, and when we stop getting it, we often change our behavior somehow. If we have to do something, or be a certain way, in order to receive love, that love is conditional love. In practically, when you love someone, you generally create some expectations from the person you love. Like: I love you, so you should also love me. I always try to make you happy, so you should also make me happy. There are many small expectations we create every day. you feel happy when any of your expectations get fulfilled. But whenever it doesn’t happen, it starts creating pain in you. So it means you do not love him or her, you just love only for yourself.  You do all this things to make your happiness in return.

But the same time if you love someone unconditionally, and if that person doesn’t know about, what is the mean of the real love is, you are jeopardizing your life for sure. Suppose you love your partner unconditionally and your partner doesn’t care about your love or you. So still, are you  going to love that person?. If you say “yes”. Of course it’s an unconditional love. But it may cause a pain for you, in the way you think about it. If you think, “It’s no matter how she treats me, I love her”, you are a perfect lover. But it’s once in a blue moon.

So what’s the scientific side of unconditional love? In a study conducted by Mario Beauregard and his colleagues, using an fMRI (Functional magnetic resonance imaging)procedure, they studied the brain imaging of participants who were shown different sets of images either referring to "maternal love" (unconditional love) or "romantic love". Seven areas of the brain became active when these participants called to mind feelings of unconditional love. Three of these were similar to areas that became active when it came to romantic love. The other four active parts were different, showing certain brain regions associated with rewarding aspects, pleasurable (non physical) feelings, and human maternal behaviors are activated during the unconditional love portions of the experiment. Through the associations made between the different regions, results show that the feeling of love for someone without the need of being rewarded is different from the feeling of romantic love. 

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Falling in love at first sight.

 Falling in love at first sight is one of the best experiences of a life time for anyone. It feels so magical and strange. When you face that moment, not only your mind, but also your body feels strange. But, is that feeling really a love?

Suppose, you go to a party and just sitting around. all of a sudden  someone is beside you, and offering to get you a drink. Then you feel strange comfort and begin to talk. Here after  you're struck by the emotional feeling that, you have just found Mr. Right. Or you see a nice girl staring at you with a innocent catchy smile, you think you just found the Miss. Right for you.   But that's crazy, isn't it? Or is it? But this happens most of the time. And it is ended up with long lasting wild romance perhaps. So…fist site love is that much strong sometimes.

Hence…Many think that is the real love. Because, when we just saw a person on the very first time, we don’t know anything about them. Do they educate or do they have money or at least Do they like us? How old are they? We don’t know anything, but we feel love about them. So it’s only love. Nothing is there, in between us only a feeling of love. So, isn’t it real love? 

But few think, it’s not real love at the very first sight, but it’s only a desire, about that person. If you think deeper about this, can this handsome, deep-voiced, well-dressed strange man or pretty lady with the perfect figure, give you what you really want for your life? Because we don’t know anything about them, they don’t know who we are? They don’t know anything about us. But still we love means, only a feeling of desire about that person. Desire is not the true love, perhaps if we get to know about theses starngers some, maybe we escape from them. 

 

Beside all of the above, its better to see whether, “is there any mechanism for this love at first site?” Not all of us fall in love within few seconds. In one survey by Ayala Malach-Pines, PhD, of Ben-Gurion University in Israel, only 11 percent of the 493 respondents said their long-term relationships started that way. Further, it has been seen in studies that men are more likely to falling in love immediately than women. It seems like men are more stimulated by visual appeal than women. On the other hand, women experience romantic chemistry a lot better than men. It means, Men know they like a woman the very second they see her. But in the case of women, they usually fall in love with someone after the one or two conversations. And, Do you know that your first kiss also affect your love? Studies have shown that the exchange of saliva can also be a test for love. When you kiss, genes of major histocompatibility complex get exchanged between two persons, and if your genes share too many similarities, you might actually get turned off and lose the attraction, says Dr. Claus Wedekind at the University of Edinburg. And it’s not just the kisses, your body odor too can predict whether you will experience love at first sight.

So what do you think? Falling in love at first sight is real love?

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